Make sure to be clear about your intentions and always make sure that the cashier is comfortable with what you are asking. I got the message. Its my practice since to never pursue workers in service, not that it matters so much now. One was reeeally bad: the guy saw this woman at Target (they were both customers) and saw her in the parking lot and asked if she needed a ride because it didnt look like she was walking to her car. 2. I object to singling out women. As a guy, I dont worry about the woman attacking me or anything but I do think about getting robbed by someone else hiding at her place. It sounds to me like OP is being very conscientious about the situation. I am an adult who has a crush on someone (also an adult) who works in retail. when Im meeting someone new. He texted her later that night and now theyve been dating for like three months! I waited tables for a very long time. Her having to worry about that violates the principle of empowered. Boy do I have horror stories. We go on vacation together, we spend holidays and new years together and so on. Im hoping, for the employees sake, it didnt. But he wasnt asking her out. We didnt mean anything by it, it was just a way to break up the tedium. Next day I slipped my phone number on a piece of paper, didn't say a word and left. interviewing with a service dog in my lap, boss thinks Im a stonerbecauseI called out on 4/20, and more, I desperately need breaks between my back-to-back meetings, I manage a gay employee and our company is homophobic, a coworker told me I talk too much, Im still ruminating over a job I didnt take, and more, should I invite my team to my home for dinner, will my company expect me to work with my ex, and more, after I hired someone, a mutual friend told me Id made a huge mistake. If you buy e.g. Make sure everything is paid for, and walk away immediately after giving her that card. We met for coffee, later for a meal, and while we never became a couple, we did end up being best friends and we still are to this day. Especially if whatever person I was talking to was clearly busy with something else. Whatever you do don't follow them after work into the parking lot. How To Ask A Cashier Out? - urbnfresh.com In fact, the last time I was nice to the tax office woman, I asked her if I was the first dude not to yell at her today. It beats the risk of getting a What, am I not good/rich/tall/whatever enough for you, you bitch? response. If you put someone in an awkward position by asking them out when you arent really sure if theyre interested, then you probably shouldnt be mandating (even in your head) how they are to respond. Privacy Policy and Affiliate Disclosures, I own a game store with a terrible manager who I'm afraid to fire. You rarely get a sense of whether someones interesting when theyre being polite or friendly due to the nature of their job. Ugh, do you know how most men respond to being turned down? Since there's a lineup it may be easiest if you have your number written on a piece of paper to leave it with her. 4 Remember customers' preferences. I may have spent several hours of my life yelling, YES OF COURSE SHE DOES THAT IS HER JOB at my computer. How To Get The Man Catcher In Castle Crashers? And I love cheese but dont have any from Spain. OP here, thank you, and yes Im definitely not interested in objectifying this person or treating him like a piece of meat :). Right, Ive always worked customer service, so I certainly take your point; but I do think its a very blurred line. Also, regardless of the merits of OP asking/not asking, can we PLEASE roundfile the whole but how else is the species supposed to continue fallacy, which, bluntly, gets trotted out in defense of everything from workplace harassment to stalking. truealso as a guy he would probably feel less threatened if the attention was unwanted. How To Read Offense In Madden 21? We never talked beside "hello". I met my husband in a bar; I met my previous boyfriend at our mutual workplace. AH this reminds me of when I went out to brunch with a friend and she picked the restaurant and as we were walking up to the door she turned to me and said, Well, I cant promise I wont ask out our waiter before the end of the meal! It turns out she was a regular at this place and had a huge thing for a waiter. and after a few encounters we started really talking if there was no other customers around. Some talking must have occured behind the scenes Much later, she told me she was married. You might get the label 'creep' and you might find that your shopping experience will drop dramatically. I know I have a weirdly strong opinion on this, but no. I cant tell you how many times a guy mistook my friendliness for flirting with him. Hes rung me up (cash register, not phone) multiple times and weve done the usual chitchat, and when Im at his store he very obviously stares at me and often pops up in the areas that Im shopping in. So I definitely dont think its fair to allege that Im not empathetic here Im reflecting on my own feelings as well as those Ive heard from others of both genders, or as you say, putting myself in their shoes.. MMmmm Chipotle. So I guess its possible for these things to work out. I can find out though and that might make things a little less fraught, dynamics-wise, if he is. Thats a pointas the OP is gauging this guys interest, she should observe how he acts with other customers. Show confidence. Hmm Im on the fence here. And man did that sting. Connect and share knowledge within a single location that is structured and easy to search. You can deduce from both verbal and nonverbal cues what her feelings towards you are, whether she's friendly because of her professionalism or because she actually wants to be your friend. As it happens, safe is the first one. I cant figure out a way to work cheese into this at all though, unfortunately :) I know what you mean about the manager thing: hes older and its one of those places where managers are expected to do everything that their employees do so I dont know if he is or not. Why is this even an issue. Its not *dating* phobia per se its management phobia. Hmm I once gave my phone number to someone who worked the counter at a restaurant after seeing them there a few times. You don't want to be banned for harassing employees who didn't want to date you. Flirt more. The guys who hit on me were really gross and it was quite a turn off. This is so uncomfortable to me. I worked in a large grocery store chain that prides itself on premier customer service. I think the only thing saving me from flirting being a daily occurrence where I was assigned was that our typical customers were older, often married, women. A new cashier joined my local food shop. Please have some respect and let me have my JOB as a safe space! No one likes that. A lot of people get off on exploiting the power imbalance between customer and customer service rep. She cant be sure but either he wants a cup of coffee with her or he doesnt. This is preferable because she is not under obligation to behave professionally for her work and you can spend some time chatting as equals. Dont drop compliments and hit on her, asking how her day is You could try to get friendly with one of his coworkers to find out if hes single, and possibly also when his break is or when he gets off work. An employee could reasonably feel just as trapped into responding favorably to the polite request for a coffee date as a skeezy come on. Something like the Pareto Principle is definitely at play here 80% of creepy, inappropriate behavior comes from 20% of the population. And there was no pressing and he never followed up when I didnt call. should I ask out an employee at a store where I shop? But what happens after, due to the dynamics of her life is, every time I go to that damn shop, she will feel somewhat at unease. Do the invite to something neutral, and see what the reaction is. WebOriginally Answered: How do you ask a (girl) cashier out? Her ex used her for her body they broke up 9mos ago. If youre looking to get your hands on the Man Catcher in Castle Crashers, then youre in luck! A simple compliment or two can go a long way in making a good impression on someone; let them know what drew you towards them in the first place! There are definitely some completely unreasonable managers out there, particularly in retail. (Of course, maybe he WAS too embarrassed to ever return, but I cant think of why, because politely asking a person out isnt embarrassing), Thanks mel, a friend in retail recommended the note thing; thats how she began dating a customer. I was watching the whole scene unfold and he was trying his best to extend his little chat with her by just grasping at whatever topic he could think of in this sheepish, gigglish tone, and her simple responses back to him without breaking a smile, while also ringing out my items. I think the difference was that while he complimented me plenty, it was never about my appearance or anything physical. At a bar, after church, at an event where you share a mutual interest, go for it! Secretarial positions suck for this, too for what Im sure are the same reasons. What the worst that could happen from politely and not creepily seeing what happens next from this real world connection? Another option you may consider is going through her manager. If the cashier does not feel the same way, it is best to respect their wishes and move on. Ubuntu won't accept my choice of password. When asking out a cashier, one should be aware that there is always a chance of rejection. Hitting on people who depend on you for tips is low. Express low-key interest in seeing the person outside of work, give your card/number, and make it clear through your words and actions that you can happily take no for an answer. It stops being flattering at a certain point, and even then there is ALWAYS the pressure of Im at work how can I respond in a way that will keep this persons business and not cause a scene and get me in trouble with my boss?. After they reject you, accept their rejection graciously. You can still have conversation with them, but don't put her on the spot. Also, the OP doesnt need to overthink: the answer is almost certainly no. Hes probably being nice to the OP because being nice to customers is part of his job. We were students and had a few regulars known to follow us around the stacks while were working (one would mutter under his breath the whole time, we thought it mightve been poetry ugh). Haha I like that! Ive seen a lot of this sentiment in this thread (Im biased; Im female) and I just want to say: A lot of women dont find being hit on or asked out by a strange man flattering, especially if the most conversation theyve had with them is either mundane chitchat or about the customers order/purchase. OP, I did this once. Female Cashier Get their attention by saying something like I was wondering if youd like to grab dinner sometime rather than Will you go out with me? I generally agree that it is usually best not to ask people out at work. However, it has happened from time-to-time. Having been on the receiving WebTalk about what you're going to make with your items. A better idea would be to go b No. How To Ask Out The Cashier? | Relationship Talk So theyll make a HUGE impact, far more of an impact than the 600 perfectly reasonable men who went through the store that day. If I thought I was going to get tipped regardless (i.e., they were with a group and split checks, etc.) If she is interested in you and has time, she will probably arrange to come to the event some time and you will see her there. I only said yes once, mostly because he was polite, unassuming, and I did not feel harassed for a change. ), This comment made me chuckle a little because I know that my husband (were he available) would never, ever pick up on this type of hint. But don't do it at her work. One thing you could do, since you go often to that store, is: start building a basic "relationship" with the cashier. I think OP should probably take advice from local friends and ask what's expected there. Special issue: when one is working, one has to do ones job or get fired. Don't. Being friendly is literally part of their job description. There's no way to know whether the "signs" you are picking up on are actually sig ? pile. Dont say, Sure sounds good! I agree that asking someone out can be different than hitting on someone, but for me as a woman in a publicly funded service role (library type work) Im pretty sick of being seen as on display and treated as a piece of meat at a buffet that people can ponder, look at, ask questions too, and ask out. Adult education class. The pressure to respond positively to those interactions to avoid A Scene is so high! We flirted for (probably 5) months and I finally asked him out one day. In all seriousness, young and youngish women in customer-service jobs are frequently dealing with a more-0r-less daily barrage of men who interpret smiled at me and was polite as wants me, and it can be exhausting and, yes, scary, since a significant fraction of men dont take a polite no thanks well. If she doesn't respond, just say "thank you" as the transaction completes and you depart. Thanks for the advice and encouragement Erin! This is bad enough in public, but its a bit worse if youre being put in that situation at work. Again, not altruism: it's in our interest; the path to "why not?" With same-sex flirting, I feel like its a zillion times harder. Even if she's busy on Thursday, or does not share your interest in this type of event it's a first step. Sure. and it becomes incredibly annoying and frustrating. Make me a good burrito, and you will always have a platonic place in my heart. I hated that aspect. Put yourself somewhere that she might be out of work. tru dat mirth!!.. I always wanted to date him and ask him out, but I never got the courage until a few years ago when I found out we were both single. That would be some might serious dating phobia to have that reaction from a casual reach out, hed be quite the outlier with that level of panic. just take your chance and be yourself you have nothing to lose.. you never know she might just be waiting for you to ask. I dont what it is about retailperhaps the forced friendliness-but it just seems like everyone thinks were dying for dates and I would get asked out constantly. However, with a bit of forethought and confidence, you can make it happen in no Try to greet incoming customers within 30 seconds. Hello, OP here. Contact the financial institution that the cashiers check was issued from to find out if its valid. The OP posts an innocuous I see you every day at the 7-11 and I think youre cute but the employee thinks she posted the one that lists off 200 acts the Kama Sutra never dreamed of. Yeptrue creeps are spreading it around as much as they can. Above all else, be respectful, kind and courteous no matter what their response is. Do you have personal experience where you successfully use this technic? This is while there were a line of people waiting for my attention. Additionally, try bringing up topics that have nothing do with romance; discussing something lighthearted may make things less intense and create a more relaxed atmosphere between both of you which could ultimately lead towards a positive outcome! She may feel like she has to accept or decline right there. Too much overthinking going on here. Im in the camp that thinks its OK to politely ask someone out even if theyre working, but obviously many other differ. If you're feeling insecure because of the people around think about how it can make her feel too, either she agrees or not it will also put some pressure on her so try to do it when there's no one around, and be prepared to leave either she agrees or not. Staying polite and positive even if you get rejected will make her more comfortable rather than being sad or disappointed when interacting with her in the future. If the girl laughs, half the work is done. Its awkward. Women should never go to an unfamiliar mans private address. I spent time on holidays (and shopping) in Germany, I am familiar with how retail in Germany, in large cities, works. I would hate to tell you not to try, though. She Doesnt Owe You Shit But its so much more likely that any given service worker is being nice to you because their continued employment and paycheck is dependent on being nice to you. If you were interested in a customer, what would you do about it? Since the OP is the customer, if read it correctly, the OP should ask the question. I dated someone for 5 years he was a customer who asked me out. How does this answer the OP's question about how to ask a cashier out for a date? That is, Cheese Guy was not an 18 year old cashier, he was the cheese manager for the chain. Another way might be something along the lines of: Its always nice to chat with you [name.] You really have to go with your gut, I think. That would be fun. Nope nope nope never ok. They would try to dazzle me with charm, I would kindly redirect them to dazzle me with good work. After about 2 months of running into her regularly, you can usually try seeing if shes interested in going to a movie or something. Do this some times. :). I know what youre saying about the stalking: Ive been there myself and would never want to put someone in that position. I mean there are always like 5 people before and after me, and I think it would be awkward if we are changing numbers while customers are waiting behind us. Either she's attracted to you, and you create the circumstances where things will happen, or she is not attracted, and you move on. It's up to you to weigh the pros and cons and do your choice, make the one which will leave you with less regrets as possible. This is not okay and very creepy. Its be a nice pick me up for the day. or "Did you enjoy it" or even worse, "Where were you?". And it's low-impact enough you can do something like it several times without any appearance of being creepy. Dont arrive at a house and find there are no other guests. Um nope and nope. Some points of potential special cases. but to me, Id take being asked out as a form of flattery, even if I wasnt interested This crap makes me want to flip tables. I thought he was over 25ish, he though I was under 25ish. I told him I was bartending that night and that he should come visit me, and I gave him my number. We went on a couple of dates, but that was it. That sounds very reasonable to me. listen to him, and definitely good to go for a free mean with a guy that's not a creeper!! You can guess empowered is too, but there's a third: ability. 3. Ok but how do I do this without coming off as a creeper? And the never mentioning it again is mandatory. WebAnswer (1 of 16): No. So I met this girl who is a cashier at a local store and shes really cute. It was somewhat flattering with compliments but also uncomfortable if they couldnt accept my response. To me, it'd come across as a creepy behaviour. Or, to put it more pithily, as this linked post full of citations says in its title, Mythcommunication: Its Not That They Dont Understand, They Just Dont Like The Answer I dont think Ive actually ever met a rando in public and ended up dating them for more than one date (and very, very few of those). * #notallmenobviously, note the qualifier. So the power dynamic is not so different. She will appreciate you phrasing it in a way that doesn't put her on the spot. I dont know; its easy enough to say, Im sorry, I have a policy of not dating coworkers/customers. If your work doesnt allow it, thats an even easier out.
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